Vegas

Las Vegas

The Greyhound touched down in Vegas at 7 AM on a Tuesday. I had 12 hours to kill until the first open mic. After spending the day exploring the Strip I walked two hours to get to what I thought was an open mic at The Urban Lounge. It turned out to be a booked show for music. They had a Tuesday comedy show as well, but only once a month I had just missed it. When one of the girls who helps run the show told me this I lost my shit. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? I walked two hours in the Vegas heat to get there. With no water lugging all my stuff! I was covered in sweat, looking like hammered shit. I’m Bipolar I so sometimes I over react. I immediately slipped into a “woe is me, fuck everything mentality.” She told me to calm down that Sparkle, the lady who ran the show, would be there soon, and that she would probably help me figure out where the next mic was, or give me time. She brought me water, and told me to sit. When Sparkle got there, she could tell I was upset. She told me to that one, or two acts would probably drop out last minute. So she could give me time since I went through the trouble to get there. She had me open the show with 5 minutes. I ended up crushing. Everyone gave me so much love. I got off stage grinning like an idiot. Sparkle told me to get back on stage with her. Taking my hand, she told the room “I don’t normally let people who I haven’t seen go up on my shows”, but she could see how dedicated I was to get time to do what I do. She went on to say that she was glad she had. “I didn’t think you’d be that good!” I won’t try to put down everything else she said. I lack her eloquence. She gave me a hug, then I got off stage. Everyone I walked by shook my hand, or gave me hug. Told me I was funny, and thank you for making me laugh. I’m embarrassed how I looked when I showed up. That place is classy as fuck. By the time I left to go to the next mic, which fortunately was only a 10-minute walk away, I forgot how much of a little bitch I was earlier.

            The next mic was called Rebar. The best way to describe it is if Salvation Army, and a dive bar had a baby. Don’t ask. Just check it out if you happen to be in town. I got there early. Introduced myself to some of the comics. One them by the name of Gil whips out a fat ass blunt:

“Alley?”

“Alley.” another comic Michael nods. Looks at me “Alley?”

“Alley” I replied

You know what happened next. I went up towards the end of the night. I gota few laughs, but they paled in comparison to the laughs at the lounge. Btw the show at Urban Lounge is called Flow Your Awesome. Definitely check out the have a website just Google it. Rebar was just rewarding as long as I get to go up I’ve had a good day. When my times up a lot of the comics/audience came up to tell me I was funny. A few people bought me drinks aa well. So 2 for 2 on good sets my first night. A great guy by the name of John let stay at his house for a few nights. So I didn’t have to unroll my sleeping bag just yet. I continued to hit one or more mics a night with the exception of Saturdays. Only day that doesn’t have a mic. Instead go to The “M” casino resort. There is a free comedy show that always has a great line up! I learned that most open mics in Vegas have a best set prize that usually comes in the form of cash. I Won $100 total from 3 mics. I was in Vegas for 3 weeks. I did around 40 mics while I was there and two booked shows if we count Urban Lounge. I only had to sleep outside 3 time. The last night outside I punched a mouse. That’s not a euphemism. I literally punched a mouse. He crawled across me while I was sleeping. I freaked out. I feel really bad about it. I hope he returned to his people a king, but it’s more likely a rattlesnake got him as he was trying to limp home. I told this story an open mic. It resulted in me being adopted by an ex-cop/marine, soon to be comic, by the name of Florio. I say soon to be because he hasn’t popped his open mic cherry. When he does he supposed to send me the video. He let me stay with him for the rest of my time in Vegas. Shout out also to Ryan and Sam for letting me crash with them as well. I loved all the mics I hit. If I had to pick a favorite it would Noreen’s Lounge. The hosts are awesome, it’s where most of the comics try to go, if you get stuck you can ask them to give you a question, the bartenders are complete bosses (Erick in particular), also the best set prize is $50! If I had to pick a least favorite. It would be Jackpots. The only reason I have is every time I went up I ate shit lol. Otherwise the host is great! Spiro is his name, and he sells badass koala bear shirts, the proceeds go to breast cancer awareness… So buy one or six.  All the comics have been added to my comedy family. Other things I love about Sin City: You can smoke cigarettes in most of the bars, weed is legal, no last call, most of the mics are spread out enough you can do 3 a night easy, alcohol is cheap.

            I survived with pretty much no cash. Made it work with some with tarot readings. Odd jobs on craigslist. Then my favorite way of making money that I discovered my last week there! Selling my spot for cash or beer! Another comic at Rebar was #16 I was 6. He offered me $20 to trade. I’d show early sign up then offer to trade spots for cash/beer/weed/cigs. Worked out pretty well. I got a ride to LA with some friends I made at a mic, who were going in the same direction. Thanks Gabby and Austin! I hope this is a helpful view of Vegas’s open mic scene. If you enjoyed this article then please like or follow here, or on Facebook. If your feeling generous you can drop a few bucks at the Go Fund Me page.